Mission for 2017:
To be an honourable man. To be in a healthy place, held by God’s love made from choices of faith-filled freedom.
For the first time in my life, my vision is clear. Never have I entered into a new year with a renewed sense of purpose such as this, and a burning desire to break free from my past that has left me utterly broken and slave to emotional unfreedom.
For the longest time, I have been imprisoned by fear. Fear of rejection and unwantedness stemming from hurts that run so deep in my youth that have accumulated over the years and that still exist but I have somehow managed to hide in hopes of not needing to face them at all.
Not only has this prevented me from allowing myself to be healed, but it has enabled unhealthy choices to have a hold over my life, preventing me from becoming the honourable man I am destined to be. The man I know I was born to be. The man I know I am capable of being and that I will be.
Time alone recently has made me realise I have not fully outgrown my hidden need for validation from others. From needing the affections of others to fill the gaping hole that exists in my life that no human can fill but only something greater can.
And while I have developed a greater sense of self-awareness on my journey, I have not yet allowed myself to be fully at rest and be still.
But what I have gained now is clarity. Clarity of the task at hand and the work within me that needs to be completed through perseverance in order for me to get there. And oh I will get there. I won’t give up. It will take a lot more than just a few knocks and falls to throw me off my true purpose.
I will still be at it, however long it takes. Beginning with this next step into 2017. A year of faith, filled with hope, held by love.