This is a transcript of Podcast #2 that I made on Instagram: @potatopaikia, in which I shared my thoughts for the following question:
How can I be a more confident person? Have you ever experienced rejection?
My answer: Yes, I have lost count of the number of times I have experienced rejection. In every area of my life. Rejection is a perfectly normal part of life.
One of the fundamental things we need to understand about rejection, be it in a job interview, at school, or in our love life; is that rejection could happen for any number of reasons. And it isn’t always about us. So never take it too personally.
Once we understand this, we will accept that rejection is never an accurate reflection of our true value and worth.
Very often, our fear of rejection is the very thing that prevents us from embracing who we truly are, and that is what true confidence is actually about. True confidence is the ability to be perfectly comfortable in our own skin, without needing anyone’s permission or seeking the approval of others for us to be ourselves.
This comes from a place of deeper awareness of our true identity and our fears, and choosing not to reject them but to acknowledge them instead.
It is to show ourselves love in these particular areas that no one else can. With more life experience under your belt, you will be better equipped to handle rejection, which is inevitable for as long as we live.
As you grow in true confidence, whatever you project externally will become more consistent and congruent with your inner world, which will allow you to be more authentic and unafraid to show others who you really are.
You become more like a rock. Whatever others may do, and things that happen in your external environment that is beyond your control, will have very little bearing on you or affect you as much.
This is different from false confidence, which many confuse with true confidence.
It doesn’t help that there is poor advice given out there, albeit with good intentions, which tells people to “fake it till you make it” where confidence is concerned.
The truth is confidence cannot really be faked because when tests eventually come you either have it or you don’t.
As such we cannot build our confidence on the fragile foundation of our ego. We should instead allow ourselves to go through real life tests of rejection and failure in order to develop that deeper level of confidence that is built on our emotional core.
Therefore the best way to build your inner confidence in my opinion, is to go out and to just live your life. Dare to live, dare to make mistakes even, and dare to learn from them. The more life experience you gain, the more confident you will naturally become.
Don’t be overly cautious in everything you do and only always live by the rules. Do not be afraid of rejection and failure, because the more times that happens, the less afraid you become of failure and the more confident you become. This is the path to true confidence.